December 2011
4 posts
Im damn disappointed, it’s like I lost half my heart
No not even the basic I should expect.
Let go, I’m gonna be who I was.
Let’s party lets go crazy..
Today I realise, you are all you got.
Hohoho merry christmas.
Yesterday was amazing and now I’m lying in my bed one last time..
I don’t know what to pack or what not to..it’s painful..and I’m standing here alone thinking why did it come to this..
So where do I go now? Where do I live?
You know the funny thing is that when someone slaps me, I just calmly sit there. When someone tell me they just cheated, I send them home. When they have a bad day, I rush over.
But when I’m like a time bomb, where are they?
No no don’t get me wrong, it’s my choice and I just bite my own ass again.
November 2011
1 post
You moved on!
That made history! I never felt so good.
I look back and I just wanna laugh! How silly.
There I was upset over nothing! The day you went behind and do the things you did, i left.
And I just got so carried away with winning. (ya a flaw no more!)
I got myself a great education and I didn’t feel happy. So silly.
You laugh and smirk while I run away from school? And you laugh at how I...
October 2011
5 posts
Working life
The feeling is different, is like you get up each morning doing what you have to do. Its a constant worry of your performance, whether you’ll make or break it. You wonder would you get to the top, you wonder if it’s worth the time. But you keep going.
And at this hour, I greet my love, friends and family goodnight. I miss them yet I don’t have time. I wanna spend so much time...
Love pushes us to the limit,
We jump we run we hide.
It runs with fear, it runs with doubts, it runs with hurt.
It doesn’t stop, it keeps pushing.
For what it’s worth, we fight.
For just that one minute worth of laughter.
I’m in love, I wanna do it all over again.
But..would I be able to take the fall again.
Oh..that pain…
Round purple flowers!
I’m so in love, I’m gonna explode.
I wish I was better, I wish you knew.
I’m so in love with you.
And for the first time in my life,
I’m in love with just one, my best friend.
Who would have thought, the last would be my best friend. Who would have thought, I would die in the arms of my most trustworthy friend.
How would I have know.
September 2011
2 posts
I'm A CHILD! :)
Whattt up! So its like finding jobs everyday (nah half the time I’m doing other things) but it seems like I really wanna work. Haha.. Yup gonna step up and get some money!
Spend the whole day at home waiting for my love! Cooked, talk, love! Perfect combi!! Funny how baby taught me how to walk like a girl! Since even a bra wouldn’t help ditch off the fact.
Ya..so much laughter so...
And if I could, I would have speed things up.
And if I knew, I wouldn’t have waste time.
B, I just wanna spend all my fucking time with you!
August 2011
2 posts
And yes I’ll love you and you only. Yes, I’ll not take this baggage along cause no way I’m gonna ruin another love. Yes I’ll learn to be understanding. Yes I’ll learn to be a bigger person. Yes I’ll learn to know what’s worthy and what isn’t..
Baby, I’ve been a fool. Your understanding and love makes me wanna be someone better, for you for...
My love loves to talk nonsense when she’s tired! And she’s fucking annoying…she does the weirdest things on earth..
And I seriously wonder why her!
;)
July 2011
10 posts
reality freaks people out..
So, this is a working relationship? So, how do one grow? So, how did one learn?
Its scary, one month and fate will decide. Okay, honestly I rather be a student but I can’t deny the fact that reality is tempting. For years, we go through love with education. We spend countless of days together and time isn’t quite the issue. Now, I’m thrown into this world that doesn’t...
knowing or acting?
I think along the way I lost my sense,
I think along the way I gave in to pride,
I think along the way I lost graciousness,
I think along the way I gave in to arrogance,
I think along the way I lost me..myself.
And I think along the way I’m going to be fine.
Do you know I miss you? Do you know you hurt me! Do you know all it takes its a sorry!! :(
Did they ever tell you that when you free fall there’s rocks below?
Sometimes I love love too much yet hate it way...
You know how long it takes to fly, you get your life under control fly around like a bird. Everything you want, you do. If it pleases you, you can run, you can jump..
Then they say love is wonderful, it is. How someone can come in and you lost all control.. Suddenly overnight your world is upside down..
There’s no I’m happy, its we’re happy.. Suddenly someone is in control...
365 days..
where the nightmare begin. the blood, the siren, the pain.
you’re evil, selfish, mean, self-centered..
one last..
its true you know we die with a cold heart, its true ive been there.
I've fell in love with my best-friend, but I know...
Greetings from korea.. I miss my baby… Can’t seem to enjoy this country..
Nothing seems to wipe off the smile on my face.. I love you, baby. :)
June 2011
1 post
11th day in thailand.
May 2011
6 posts
wow, life has been crazy.
the min my paper ended (19may), i had a great celebration at changi beach club (20-22). then i left from there to an extremely awesome trip to kl (22-24).
been busy, trying my fucking best to meet everyone of friends. and now im sitting here packing my luggage, leaving in 4hrs.
bkk (27-17jun), maybe tioman (24-29), korea (7-15jul), bintan (16-19jul)
im going crazy...
“Because I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the...”
– The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho (via jeansandsneakers)
But..
‘Through this time, I realize I’ve fallen in love with you, in love with the ideas of being with you, in love with your existence, your sweetness, your baggages, your heart, your everything.’
life is good.
2nd day of celebrations after an exhausting week of intense studying. A surprise short getaway, two bottles of wine, cheese, ham, ciggs, sweet breeze and wind
I’m excited, its a new beginning. :).
Interesting? We cheat, we lie, we beg, we ate, we...
Today I’ve heard something shocking, I can’t speak of it so its best if its here. A three year rs, looking happy looking good but this fool has been playing.. Oh that’s jus not the worst part… Got caught red handed (the worst possible scene) and still continue.
Sometimes I wonder why people stay and torture themselves? Doesn’t it hurt to lie beside someone u...
my tears flow the minute I came home, an empty house. worst than anything I’ve ever felt, I miss my family. and to hear my mum tearing on the other end of the line kills me. ten more days..
I don’t think I can study or work abroad..
April 2011
3 posts
I know, I know.
But just this miracle.
Please, pleaseeee…
Somedays its hard to believe its ever gonna happen again, somedays I wish it doesn’t have to ever happen. Somedays I think I’m a coward, somedays I admire my own guts. Somedays I wanna be selfless, somedays I just became selfish. Somedays I wish time would turn around, somedays I wish time would fast forward.
Somedays like all other days, we still don’t really know what we...
I find myself biting my tongue. and for the longest time, I’m sitting on the edge. Just so you know, if I blow up its the ugliest you’ll ever see.
March 2011
4 posts
2 funerals back to back, 7 days of staying up and care taking has reminded me of the pain I went through last year. and it took away whatever smurf that was left in my mind.
I’m so done with this, I need a miracle.
Its this moment that you wait so badly for. Once, this didn’t seem like its possible like as though this would never come. And life just surprises you, when it comes it just blow your mind away. And its at this moment you realize how good life could be if you allow yourself to be free.
“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”
– Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist) (via youfallyoufly)
I have to remember this day, I have to remember what we said. and a closure we both awaited for. I guess there’s only so much we can do for what past we can’t erase. I know the damage has been so bad that we took so long.
Funny how we can talk for hours, crying and laughing yet we can’t meet face to face. Its like everytime we do, we both agree that it brings out the hurt and...
February 2011
7 posts
seven june;
Hey,
I’m truly happy for you, it took time but this was the moment we’ve been anticipating for. I’ve always said till I think you found what you need to, I’ll walk. Thou last year was brutal, how everything we build fade away. I know you tried but it was just too late and I just couldn’t. Our friendship was probably extremely different and thou it hurt so much but...
We get ruin and we want change. We get hurt and we assume we can change the future. But how sure are we to what we can adapt. Can events actually change us or do we just become better actors.
There’s so much struggle between pride and honesty. And we are all afraid of balance. We get older maybe not wiser. But we assume we’re better at the game but weren’t the past more...
besides the hurt, fear, pain or anything else tt once bled. with every breath I have, I’m making this different.
goodnight my love. :)
I wish I could get on a plane and be where you are. I’m just stuck here going nuts. I don’t know who I am anymore. And I’m freaking out. I’m crazy, I’ll do incredible things for you! I’ll do stuff, real crazy stuff. And the thing is that ure gonna hate me at the end of everything, you’re gonna not wanna remember all of what we have. Because somehow I ruin...
just receive a devastating news from mum. ill always rem uncle peter, the times he took care of us. joking ard celebrating halloween at their newton house. sweet childhood with him and aunty donna. It hurts to hear another name joining the other side of which neither of us have any idea of. he’ll always be remembered.
sending all our love to aunty donna and kids.
Arrogance
You get carried away, how good you are.
That you don’t take note how good people are to you.
January 2011
3 posts
hello sweetheart,
I hate to tell you but it’s the same cycle. here comes the she’s cute. then the chasing. i need to text you, oh I shouldn’t reply so soon. but I have to, okay now I can’t stop texting. damn I want you so bad, oh let’s please be together. don’t worry I’m okay with who you are, anything you do I’m happy.
then, no please...
“Everyone has the right to believe and accept what he or she wants, but reality...”
– Gary Ryan Blair (via kari-shma)
fate really funny, I thought I could escape. joke, seriously. owell.
November 2010
2 posts
keeping things from the people you love can be depressing. it’s like going down a journey filled with adrenaline that comes with bucket of fear yet not being able to share.
oh well, we all have to grow up.
everyday I come home to an unpack bed, I miss my mother more than u’ll ever know.